Unless you have buried your child, keep your understanding to yourself

I have been remineded again during fathers day that people just truely do not get it.  I undersstand that you have lost your parents, grandparents, spouse, brother, sister, aunt, uncle or best friend but unless you have buried your child you have no understanding of our life.   It is hard when some one dies, no matter who but nothing changes tomorrow like the dealth of a child.  It does not matter if you lose the child before it is born or if you bury a child of 75......this goes against nature and there are things you thought would happen that will NEVER come to pass. 

 I have had people tell me "oh it would have been easier if you had had other children..."  you got to be kidding you love each child as its on.....

I have had people say well there are other children  you can help and make a difference for.....yes there is and yes we have but it is not a even trade for the joy we would have had with our brown eyed girl.

I have had people tell me or more so say behind my back "you need to get over and move on"......oh please how in the world do you do either.  Yes, we get up everyday and live we even laugh every day but there is never a day that as blessed as we are we do not ache for what we thought would be and cry for the void that is forever in our life. 

We heard during Fathers day how "oh I lost my husband, I feel so for my children, so I know how you must feel".....hate to tell you but you do not have a clue.  You can remarry......your children knew one day they would bury their Dad........I would not even try to replace my Hob and every time her sweet daddy says to me lets run by an check on Holly grave his next sentance is " I never dreamed I woulld have to say that in my life time".  

Sadly but true Jerry and I have both lost our Dad's and while the cross our minds with love in fathers day the struggle really is missing Holly.  I can not speak for him but it eats my guts out to see the saddness in his eyes.  so......

unless you have buried your child you really dont understand